We all want our kids to do better than we do, right? Achieve, succeed, excel? How do you think they will feel later when they really understand that they've surpassed us?
I have far exceeded what my parents did or had...I should be proud, right? I am, to an extent...but it also saddens me...that they just couldn't or wouldn't get over the hurdles they faced...I haven't even spoken to my mother in nearly a decade...but in recent emails, it has become clear that I am more...I don't even know what more! More educated? So what, she was the smartest mom ever, as long as we were together! More beautiful? She's self-deprecating and says that others comment on my "hotness" and she seems embarrassed about her appearance...I'm attractive, in my eyes, but I spent years telling her she was the prettiest Mommy ever, and that is all I see or remember...smarter? She worked three jobs and went to school while my dad worked nights so they could raise us in the most expensive and exclusive city on the West Coast...
I want my kids to be more, bigger, better, than what they knew in their childhoods, but I wouldn't wish this guilt or regret on them for the world...
I don't think you need to feel guilty about your success especially since they're probably really proud of you and proud of themselves for raising you the way they did. If and when my daughter surpasses me in education, career, etc. I'll be SO proud of her and myself to have given her the tools she needed to surpass me.
ReplyDeleteThanks Moon-ja, that actually makes me feel a little bit better, lol....I know they're proud of me, I just kinda feel like my success spotlights their failures, ya know?
ReplyDelete